BB FANS

That's great Jezi, and as life goes on you'll find the likes of 'you know what' happens more and more and you meet more and more new people. It's great.

that really made me smile there and I don't really know why!

thing is if you lot met the me from 3 years ago you would go 'who is that?'!! I am not massively confident now but sooooo much more so than before - for example the me from there wouldn't have even dared calling you a 'muppet' and that is the truth. Yes I'll shut up now cos although virtually all of you don't actually know what this 'you know what' is, for me it has done miracles

All I am saying that when your the one Always making the effort it becomes tiresome when they never start anything and makes you wanna give up, but the real friends will have a real friendship, that's whats happened in my experience.

Also I have witnessed it recently through a friend of a friend and the one who always makes the effort feels jaded and loses the will to both if they are getting no response. Which leads to conflict between the one that doens't bother to the one that makes all the effort.

no I do see what you are saying Chad and it can be really irritating but I don't mind that much.

The thing is I sort of made them friends with eachother. I didn't force them don't worry but I have 3 best friends and none of them particularly liked eachother before but I'd made friends with them all individually and we're now like a group. Now and then they have arguments but most of the time it's all gravy.

fair enough Jezi, you know your own situation and feelings better than anyone, hope you sort things out.

I have a friend who always lets me down in small ways. She cancels things at the last minute and often even forgets that we made arrangements. Sometimes she takes things I say the wrong way, sometimes she hurts my feeling.

But...

When all I have wanted to do is cry she has made me laugh, when I felt that no one cared she made me feel cared for....When I was a t my lowest she was there holding my hand.
I don't know what I would do without her...I love her to bits just the way she is and understand when she isn't always perfect..as am not either.

I often don't talk to people on msn when they come online but it has nothing to do with not bothering. it's more a confidence thing...I generally assume people have a lot of others to talk to and probably don't want to talk to me anyway.

The trouble with some perceptions is they are often wrong in my opinion.

CC you know I love talking to you and I so dig your humour and we have fun! I always want to talk to you but I understand if you don't feel like it, you know where I am anyways

Yeah, I agree. Sometimes I don't speak to people for the same reason - sometimes I am very unsure (especially at the beginning). But once I get a vibe from someone it helps me to open up more. I expect there are some who don't understand the reticence of others and take it as a bad sign. But not everyone is forward and comfortable in giving so openly when they don't know where it's going.

Most of my friends are friends with eachother too, which is great.

You can never force friendships, they have to develop. I'm by no means saying you did of course Jezi.

Yep, I totally agree with both of you. I find it hard to join in and chat with people for a while. I often think they are chatting already, they seem comfortable with each other would they really want me to join in. I agree with you LS that some people don't understand reticence, but you have to do what you feel comfortable with. Going back to the title of this thread, I think I need a book that means the opposite, as I always think he's not that into me anyway, it never usually occurs to me to assume otherwise.

oh dear, one of those prime examples of when Jezi has to learn to shut up

I suppose it was good to get some of that out though, don't think I'd like to type up the entire story though.

*must not use forum as a counselling session*

sorry people xx

What a bunch or worryworts!
My Mum always said that I worry too much, but don't think you should worry too much about people on the internet. I used to but have learned that what's the point? Chances are they will talk to you when they have something to say and not think twice about telling someone they are busy and unable to talk when they are busy. That's what I do now anyway. Never used to, but why should anyone lose sleep over worrying what someone we don't even know thinks, when they probably are thinking no such thing anyway. And even if they are thinking something about you, so what?
Who really gives a monkeys at the end of the day?

I was speaking about the 'real world' HD!

I do worry all the time though, it's quite bad

I know Jezi! lol....it seemed to drift off into msn back a few posts though. Some people are just like that (in real life I mean), and you have to accept their faults if they are worth it......if they are genuinely using you then IMO you're better off without as you'll end up feeling like a right mug, but to quote Rhona Cameron, ''sometimes we're all like that''

Hey did anyone see the programme last night on BBc 2 at 10pm, it was on the mis communication of men and women, it was very accurate indeed! and made me laugh too!