Former Take That teddy bear Mark Owen is due to release his album How The Mighty Fall this coming Monday. Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the radio, or to even keep your ears unblocked, the quirky Oldham entertainer returns.
This comes as dismal news to the people who thought that the recorded output of Robbie Williams was enough of a painful reminder of the shite boyband.
Owen has said that being dropped from the Universal label back in 2003 was the best thing that could ever have happened to him. hecklerspray disagrees. When a record label drops you, that means that all your songs are cack and nobody likes you. That's a bad thing, Mark.
The pint-sized dance enthusiast has revealed that he much prefers the way his personally guided career is going, saying “I found the drive to do it myself and write under my own label”.
After a meagre career spanning more than a decade, he has finally decided to go it alone. Completely alone. Terrifyingly alone. Just him. All by himself. Little Mark. On his own.
Surely an album by Michael Owen would sell more. However, the ex-Take That star refuses to give up on his dream of becoming some sort of guitar strumming Paul Simon wannabe.
Little Mark is now determined to prove people wrong once again with his music. Why won’t he just give up and try to salvage his image as it was? A bit-part former boyband entertainer with a cackling voice who leans towards making drastic reality show appearances.
What about a slot on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? That did wonders for that dreadful All Saints woman.
Better yet, if you get him in the jungle, then just keep him there. As to avoid any further pollution of the airwaves.
How the mighty fall? Who is that meant to signify anyways? Surely, not yourself Mark?
hecklerspray is willing to overlook the Mark Owen comeback, on one condition.
Gary Barlow must not release a single note of music ever again.
hecklerspray