BB FANS

The pair of t*ts Victoria and Marc lost the lead Kate fought so hard for last week.....


7th May 2005


Victoria Ice Maiden out in the cold

It was a battle of the sporting legends.

It was the bout we had all been waiting for (well, those of us who enjoy seeing a pair of gorgeous glamour-girls having a jolly good grapple).

Yes, Page 3 against Playboy. Blonde against Brunette. Leilani against Victoria Silvestedt.

And when wrecking ball began, we knew it was only the pre-cursor to the good stuff.

The two feisty maidens pushed and pulled one another relentlessly round the ring, but Leilani always looked the stronger of the two girls, and eeked out a valuable lead in this classic head-to-head.

Then the fun began.

As the two wanton women attempted to shackle their opposition down, the audience was entranced by the classic tussle. They grappled, they tugged, and they rolled, and once again Vixen was positively chomping at the bit as Ice Maiden struggled with her opponent's wiles.

And in the end, they proved all too much for the big Swede, and she succumbed to Leilani's fierce onslaught. With Ice Maiden out injured for the final game in stepped her replacement, model Emma B.

And so Queen B took off where Ice Maiden left off and entered the cage to face Vixen in Rip Wrestling and the two models duly attempted to strip one another naked (well, to vest and pants).

It was fun, it was frenetic, and it was worth many a replay. Our two gorgeous girls ripped with fury, and at the end of it all, Leilani had managed to retain slightly more clothing (shame), leaving Queen B ripped and a little riled.

So as men mopped their brows with damp hankies, we all reflected on a fine fumble, and Leilani's white-wash victory for the Crusaders.


LEADERBOARD
crusaders 14 wariors logo 12





Marc vs James El Diabolico?

After dispatching with Rebel Rider in his first bout, the safe-bet seemed to be on Gentleman Jim.

And as he faced up to El Diablo (who himself had been humiliated at the hands of Pocket Rocket), James Hewitt's legendary confidence was evident.

"I don't think he's got anything to worry me," the cad crowed.

Bannerman wasn't so sure, claiming to have Billy Elliott-esque footwork.

But if Gentleman Jim felt comfortable with his opponent, maybe he was a little more worried about the masked fighter.

Yes, before the two men had the opportunity to get to grips with one another, Neil 'Razor' Ruddock raged onto stage for a game of Raging Pull.

And as the three big men squared up, it seemed that a draw was the most likely outcome.

And how right we were!

But as soon as Razor was off, the lads got to get their hands on one another. Or rather got to club one another!

Gentleman Jim ruthlessly pummelled Bannerman until he was a mere shell of a man, lying forlorn on the floor. And when the ref pointed in Hewitt's direction, we knew that he had all but secured victory.

The former army officer approached Sumo Slam with something of a swagger, and sent Bannerman crashing on many an occasion.

And so Jim strolled off stage, an easy victor and a rather confident chap.ITV

STALKER FEAR OF X'S CHELLE



LIBERTY X star MICHELLE HEATON fears she is being targeted by a stalker.

The pop beauty alerted security guards at London's Tantra Club on Thursday about a man she claims has been following her around for at least two weeks.

Michelle, 24, spotted the mystery man lingering near the VIP area. An insider said: "She recognised him and said she'd leave the club if he didn't go.

"He may just be an over-eager fan but the fact he keeps turning up everywhere is frightening Michelle. Security had to throw him out."

Boyfriend ANDY SCOTT LEE and pal LEILANI DOWDING cheered up Michelle for the rest of the night while she judged the Mac & Bumble model competition.Sundaypeople

Is it just me or is the masked celeb a waste of time being masked cos I guess who it is soon as I see the eyes.

May 8 2005
Marc Baker, Wales on Sunday

BIG Brother beauty Lisa Jeynes has dumped her Celebrity Wrestling lover James Hewitt after branding him a "real life love rat".

The Penarth blonde has given the posh Army Major the boot after he cuddled up to a topless contestant on TV's Fool Around.

The lucky cad has spent all week locked in a house trying to decide which of the four female beauties he has been holed up with is single.

Last night, Lisa, 36, branded Princess Diana's 47-year-old ex a "reality show bore" and vowed to erase him from her life once and for all.

One of her close pals said: "Lisa was in love with James, but it's now over.

"There are other issues why Lisa has split from him, but one of the key factors is his display on this E4 programme. She is appalled by his behaviour. He can't have any pride in himself.

"She cannot believe he is doing something that is so low for his career. Last year, his image was great but now he is just doing very cheap programmes."

In February, Lisa told Wales on Sunday of her love for Hewitt, saying he had branded her his new "Princess of Wales".

At the time, Lisa said Hewitt was different to his public image, telling how she fell for his handsome, attractive and caring nature. The pair began dating after meeting at a pal's party last summer.

They struck up an immediate friendship after "being battered in the press", and Lisa told how Hewitt "loved her new boobs".

Last night, Lisa's friend revealed: "Lisa was seeing James up until February. They lost contact for a bit while he went into training for Celebrity Wrestling. She then rang him and they continued their long distance relationship.

"There are other issues, but one of the key factors is James' display on this E4 programme. He seems to be taking everything that is thrown at him at the moment.

"Lisa would never date a rat. She believed him when she met him and saw a nice, gentle side to his personality.

"She thought he was a person who was misunderstood by the press and the rest of the nation. Sadly, she was wrong.

"She is really sad that people have been proved right about him."

Lisa, who is now single, is eager to get on with her life and is unsure whether she would date another celebrity.

And despite being urged to support the new series of Big Brother, she has turned her back on TV offers.

During Big Brother, Lisa was subjected to cruel speculation that she had been born a man after she told a male house-mate: "I've got bigger balls than you."

Since the show, she has shed a stone, had a nose job and breast enlargement.

Her pal added: "Lisa has been sent a few offers in connection with the new series but she would rather move on from all that.

"She had a difficult time with all the Big Brother accusations. Lisa has now transformed herself and is now a fantastic looking person. It was Lisa's decision to finish with James - she has made that quite clear to him."

Celebrity Wresting has established itself in the Saturday night ITV lineup. Established itself as the most breathtakingly inane spectacle TV has ever seen, that is.

If you haven't seen it, you really should. Just load up on the Nurofen before you switch it on.

Celebrity Wrestling is loud. And not exciting loud, either. It's loud like living next door to neighbours that wear horseshoes and have a giant gong instead of a floor, and use plastic explosive devices to turn over their shrieking surround sound TV, and they have a snot-caked baby with a mouth the size of a McDonalds freezer that regularly knocks satellites out of orbit with it's relentless wailing. Only louder.

The studio audience act like they've been given too much sugary orange juice instead of their Ritalin doses, and so they whoop and yell at the slightest encouragement. If the entire show was simply about a man sitting in a chair doing a crossword, they'd still work themselves up into a mental shamanistic frenzy. So imagine what they're like when they get to watch the crap Di Marco brother off Eastenders (DVDs) have a fight with Jade Goody's (DVDs) boyfriend.

And now to the wrestling. Well, it's not really wrestling. It's in fact a series of sub-Gladiators style games, like putting a ball in a box, or poking each other with sticks. Or the Dads' favourite - the round where the girls have to rip each other's clothes off as fast as they can.

A lot has been made of the very, very low level of fame the wrestlers have. But they do have to have a certain level of fitness to perform, and so they should be given some credit. And James Hewitt (book) is a genuinely frightening man. His military training means he can flick a switch in his mind and turn into a dead-eyed killer in an instant.

Of course, once the fighting's over, everyone's very pleasant to each other, like they'd been sharing a lovely bit of battenburg instead of repeatedly slamming each other's faces into the floor.

Someone high up at ITV must have realised that this would happen - British people just don't do angry wrestling very well. They're too ingrained with cynicism and self-deprecation to take it seriously enough. So they countered this by bringing in a bunch of Americans.

There are two former wrestlers that act as trainers in this series. Presumably they do actually train, but they appear to spend most of their time trash-talking each other with such a lack of self-regard that they don't notice the amount of spit and dribble pouring out of their mouths.

The 'expert' is also a former wrestler, Rowdy Roddy Piper (DVDs). He's not so much a pundit as an action figure that sprouts gibberish soundbites when you pull the string on his back.

And holding it all together is Kate Thornton, a woman who sold her personality to the devil for fame. She's a sensible English girl at heart, trying desperately to keep up with the manic straight-faced bravado swirling around her. Her compromise is to do a series of strange body jerks when she speaks, as if she mixed up 'sassy' and 'epileptic' in her mind.

The best way to improve the show would be scrap Thornton in favour of someone slightly more arch. Someone who's in on the joke. Like Terry Wogan (CDs/DVDs/books) presenting Eurovision. Someone that can reassure us that it's crap, but we shouldn't take it too seriously.

By a thousand miles, the best part of last night's show was the boy with the inexplicable banner "I Love DVDs". Yeah, DVDs are great.

HecklerSpray

I think everyone here and even articles in the press said it would not get good figures against Dr Who.It is the decision of those ITV execs to big it up against the good Dr or to now move it to a timeslot that gets a bigger share.Three million is still a hell of a lot of viewers.(plus recordeds)From what people have said there is a lot of good stuff coming if you like that sort of thing.(I am not so interested in the format that I would have watched if Kate had not been in it as she is a favourite BB Housemate).Maybe the figures will improve maybe not we will see-this sort of show does depend on advertising numbers.

TROUBLED TV show Celebrity Wrestling could be axed in two weeks unless it pulls in millions more viewers.

The series attracted just three million for its second show - ITV's third worst Saturday night ever.

But eight million tuned in to watch the return of the Daleks to Doctor Who on BBC1 at the same time.

ITV Director of Programmes, Nigel Pickard, has now vowed to step in. He said: "It's a certain type of show. We're trying it on Saturday nights and that's been a complete battleground for the last 20 years.

"We had a bad night last Saturday, but we got a very good share of the 16 to 24-year-olds. I've scheduled the next two weeks' programmes, but if it's still getting the same after that, we'll be looking at it."

But Pickard, speaking at the Rose D'Or Festival in Lucerne, Switzerland, said Sky's coverage of Chelsea clinching the Premiership also hit ITV's audience

Mirror

I'm sure those watching the Leilani Victoria bout would have noticed that the second bout of LockDown went to the referees vote and he gave it to the Crusaders who were losing at the time.Clearly on aggression Victoria should have won as most of the bout was in Leileani's half with her defending whilst on Sportmanship again Victoria should have romped away as Leilani punched her on the nose and pulled her helmet off twice.As Kate said"Her nose is about to fall off!"

Looks like it may be up to Annabel and Kate to try to rescue this 0-2 situation.KatevJenny is surely Kates most difficult opponent but the blues must be hoping for a 3-0 AnnabelvMichelle(unless this masked celebrity bollocks intervenes-I guess the Warriors benefited last night though)The warrior men are struggling as their two best are one injured out and the other severley injured .It is getting very exciting now.

Oh Lisa Lisa it's only a TV show for god's sake

8.11PM, Sun May 8 2005 ITV

Page 3 model Leilani Dowding has told how she found fighting ex-tennis ace Annabel Croft difficult in their new TV wrestling show.

Leilani, 25, took on Annabel in the ITV show Celebrity Wrestling but said it was like grappling with her mum - as Annabel is some 13 years older.

Leilani has been rated a tricky opponent by her fellow contestants in the show - though there is nothing in her background to suggest a thirst for fighting.

She seemed set to undertake an academic career until a doorman suggested she audition for the Miss Great Britain pageant.

Leilani went on to win the coveted title. She then went on to represent the UK in Hawaii at the finals of the Miss Universe contest.

She has become best known as a Page 3 girl and is mostly seen in men's magazines such as Loaded, Nuts, Zoo and FHM.

That old chestnut eh?Did it say if the doorman was successful Jim?

Anyone where she came?

i do too, its just too easy, how did clark kent get away with just a pair of glasses?

DailyRecord

The Sun

I just saw the photos of the fight in the Daily Star, CC and it looks like poor Andy failed to catch the guy who punched him.