Quote:
After getting drunk Anthony and Craig moved on to the next natural level - the insatiable desire for a big, fat, kebab.
Towards the end of a night on the beer, drinkers are drawn to the 'magic elephant's leg' like moths to a bright light - it is simply the way of things. But in the Big Brother House it's not so easy and Anthony and Craig were reduced to begging.
"Pleeeeease man, give us a kebab!" Anthony wailed as he sat with Craig in the Diary Room.
"Mixed kebab, a doner and a chicken kebab together, lettuce, little bit of garlic mayonnaise, oh that would be livin' the dream," he pleaded before adding, "And four more bottles of beer."
Like a pair of lost Legionnaires crawling through the desert, they rolled about dreaming of what they wanted most.
"Chips, mayonnaise and salt, layer of doner meat," Craig continued. "Onions on the top with pita bread...it sounds orgasmic."
Then, Craig had an idea. "Go and get it for us and we'll leave the wrapping out and the rest of the Housemates can kick off about it," he suggested hopefully.
"There would be a f****** party in my mouth," Anthony stated with drool practically running down his chin. "In the words of Kevin Keegan, I would love it, I would really love it."
Craig chose a camper source to quote from: "In the words of Kirsten Dunst...bring it on..."
"Please, I'm Hank Marvin," Anthony begged, now clearly a shadow of his former self.
Eventually they reduced their demands to chips and gravy, some crisps and four beers. But Big Brother eventually informed them that no more food or drink would be coming their way.
"Dickhead!" Anthony cursed and wandered off, perhaps in search of a traffic cone to wear as a hat.
Channel4
