SundayPost
By Cameron Stout
I HAVE to admit I did vote in an eviction for only the second time ever this week.
And yes, it was for Derek — a.k.a. the Dark Deceiver, Grandad or Golly.
Was I jumping round the room with joy when Davina announced his name? You bet.
Yet the unbridled glee was less to do with the fact that Derek was finally off and more to do with the fact that Eugene was staying.
In his interview with Davina I could at long last see what my parents have been seeing in the gay, fox-hunting Tory.
I thought Davina might have been subjected to An Audience With Derek, but it never sank to that.
“Look Of Death”
Though he’ll never shake off his aura of condescension and affectation, he was amusing and even charming. His “Look Of Death” didn’t get a look in.
It probably helped that he was given a fairly easy ride by the hostess.
The worst examples of his hypocrisy were discreetly airbrushed out of the picture and he was even allowed to put the word out that he was looking for a publisher for his children’s books.
Personally, I can’t wait to see what Derek’s ABC will consist of. A is for Arrogance, B is for Back-stabbing, C is for Condescension.
Or he could bring out the Bumper Boy’s Book Of Bitching.
Believe it or not, I’ve mellowed towards the man.
However, one or two things still puzzle me.
Why did he ask Big Brother to send his housekeeper along to his eviction because he “wanted to make a quick getaway”?
Didn’t he realise all the hoopla that all housemates must go through on eviction — the interviews, press conference, photo-calls etc.
Holiday
And how can he have booked a holiday to Sardinia, missing not only next week’s final, which all housemates are contractually obliged to attend, and his week’s worth of guest appearances on Big Brother’s Little Brother?
But the remark that made me wish I had a cushion for my jaw when it hit the floor was his casual utterance that the Big Brother experience had made him realise that he was a nicer person than he thought he was.
Words fail me. As they have Derek on a number of occasions, since he is certainly not as eloquent as he believes himself to be.
But his comment might serve as a good theme for this week’s column — self-knowledge.
All the evidence suggests that many of this year’s housemates don’t understand the meaning of the term.
Take Makosi.
The girl she had bumped out in the Secret Garden, Kinga was parachuted into the house in an unforeseen twist and immediately began getting up Makosi’s nose because of, shall we say, her “unique vibrancy”.
Unholy
A big brash girl with a big brash personality, Kinga formed an unholy alliance with Derek because her love of belting out brassy ballads melted the Dark Deceiver’s heart.
But it put Makosi’s nerves on edge and she was heard several times tearfully complaining about Kinga’s loudness.
Surely a case of pot and kettle, since Eugene had told Big Brother it was a trait he didn’t like in the African Princess.
And Eugene should know. He was on the receiving end of a totally unjustified tongue-lashing from Makosi about cleaning the bins, a conflict for which Craig’s gossiping was the catalyst.
Craig has taken a marked dislike to Eugene, on at least one occasion this week branding him “evil”.
It’s difficult to know how he reaches that conclusion after seeing Eugene in tears again when his friend Derek was given the chop.
Upset
If Eugene has been getting upset with his fellow housemates it’s because of his frustration and disappointment that they are not giving their all to the weekly tasks — something I can readily identify with.
But Craig should take note that it’s often the characteristics you recognise and dislike in your own nature that you most resent in others — or project on to them.
The hairdresser announced, in one of those diva-like proclamations that seem to be his trademark, that he had no regrets about anything he has done in the House.
Once he gets out and sees some of the footage of his behaviour, he might revise his opinion. Then he’ll be seeing himself in stark reality, rather than through rose-tinted spectacles.
I’ve always tried to see this impressionable 20-year-old in a positive light, but I suspect he may have a harder time of it than some of the others when he rejoins the real world. Regrettably.
I can’t imagine Eugene troubling the Big Brother’s after-sales service of counsellors and carers too much when he emerges, but Craig could have them working overtime.
He goads the increasingly uncomfortable Anthony with explicit talk or nagging.
When the Geordie snaps back, Craig plays the injured party, retreating into shrill accusations or wounded silences. The bickering and squabbling has become an ugly repetitive cycle.
It takes all of Anthony’s placid patience to repair the rift — and Anthony has been very good at acting as a mediator between warring factions in the House and pouring oil on troubled waters.
Car crash TV
And, surprisingly perhaps, Makosi showed her skills at defusing potentially explosive situations when she took Kinga in hand this week.
On the now infamous night when Kinga got drunk, Makosi took her by the arm and led her out of the room, through the garden and into the sitting room, where she explained softly that she understood that Kinga wanted to have fun, but they were all stressed after 10 weeks in the house.
If there had been more of that calm, caring attitude, this year’s Big Brother might not have been such car crash TV.
I don’t want to dwell on Kinga’s Night Of Shame. Suffice to say, she has deeply regretted it, and she wasn’t slow in admitting that.
Kinga is a pretty girl, with beautiful eyes and an exuberant personality. Eugene hit the nail on the head when he said she’s a lovely girl when she just relaxes and calms down.
But she doesn’t deserve to win.
My choices for the final two would be Anthony and Eugene. I think those two would ensure that the climax of the show would be genuinely good-natured as they both seem like decent, easy-going blokes.
Of course I would love it if Eugene were to walk away with the title of Big Brother champ. As it is, I’m dying to see him again to compare notes.
Well, tarra for noo!
Intriguing... 
