BB FANS

Just don't do what I did and marry someone for all the wrong reasons

Ditto.

Milli, Liisi, I'm sorry! What are the wrong reasons? Don't answer unless you want to of course! it can't all be bad tho? right? there must be some good?

I have got a nice home and two wonderful children, financial security... those are good things

It is too complicated to explain

Of course there's some good, I wouldn't be in this relationship otherwise. There's just something major missing that can't be compensated.. My marriage is more the marriage of the mind then the heart. Sencible reasons aren't always the right ones.

I hope you're ok. One of my friends married a man she didnt' know well bcz she didn't want to go back to Japan and she didn't like her housemates. She's relatively happy but it's not ideal and the marriage isn't a perfect one.

I don't think there is such thing as a perfect marriage. There are only more or less functional and happy ones. Things that felt reasonable then might have been proven to be not so important in the long run, and things that were missing then never emerged. You can never know and it's easy to be hindsighted. But actually it hurts so you don't want to dwell in it unless you don't have a choice.

I'm propably making no sence

You are to me

I know hon.

I think as long as 2 people love and care for each other, then this is all that matters. I would also prefer the sexual attraction as well though, i would want to look at them and get shivers up my spine, and vice versa.

That would be the ideal situation, zx. I'm sorry, but have to say from experience that love and care isn't always all that matters. Sexual attraction is more important than you know. Of course this, like everything else, depends on the person involved.

the grass is always greener on the other side Liisi, My bf has a very very high libido and so do I I've never found someone that is so perfectly matched to me, in the bedroom and in life generally but I could give up sex tomorrow if it was that or lose him. I love him I crave 'phsyical attention' constantly but if I had to choose between sex or him I would have him. There is nothing better than love. I might be a fool, he could leave me tomorrow (God Forbid) but if I had to choose between sex and love, I'd take love every time

I hope you don't have to choose ever. I think sex and love should combine, one is not right without the other in the long run. But that's exactly what is going on in many marriages, people are staying together because of love. Whether it's love towards your partner, your kids, your life, what ever. I love my husband without a doubt, I wouldn't want to brake our family apart for the world, I love our home and the life we share, but I'm not as happy without the attraction as I would be if we had it. At least where I'm concerned it's a pretty big deal.

I agree completely. Could you both perhaps rekindle it by taking some time out together? you sound like you need that side of life so maybe take some time to spend together and get to know each other again? you both deserve to be happy hon? I wasn't even attracted to my bf but when I fell in love with him that changed. Now I'm very happy, it's the only part of my life that is perfect. Can you get the grandparents to take the babies and just get a perfect weekend away together maybe? X

I agree with this, i suppose i was saying that in the case of Molly, and maybe other people in general as well. For me, i think this would have to be the first step in fancying someone. Sort of like when Leonardo Dicaprio see's Kate Winslet for the first time on the ship. You know, just something like this.