BB FANS

Hi Brian

When I started the job I do now someone sent me a card which said "remember there are always options." At first I didn't understand it and thought it was weird but over tough times I came to appreciate the fact that even when life is very bleak, and there seems like only one way out, that there are always other options to consider.

Is there someone you can talk to who is out of the immediate situation and can listen to you? The Samaritans phoneline sounds like a cliche but they are good people and are there to listen and help particularly if you're wondering who to talk things through with. Their number is in the phone book.

We think a lot of you - don't give up.

First of all, apologies for not seeing this thread until now.

So sorry to hear that you have been having to put up with such crap, Brian.

It's horrible to think that one person, or a few people, can cause so much misery. They sound like a bully - they don't back up their statements, probably because they know they can't. And no matter what they 'think', they have no right to act the way they do.

You say you've few friends - well, you know, most people have few genuine, real friends. And it's harder for guys, even in this day and age. But it's clear that the friends you do have are real, they know you.

You know in your heart that you are nothing like this nasty person says you are.

You're very sensitive - (quite a lot of us on here are like that, too) - and that means things hurt more. But it means you're a nicer person. You can be a good friend to people - someone who could help a lot of people in years to come. Men would value having someone like you to lean on. And women will love you. Because a sensitive man is a real treasure. Your girlfriend is lucky to have you - and you really care for her. I hope you can have a great future together.

You said you don't like fighting anyone - life's too short. If only more people would realize that, the world would be a far better place.

Your ambition is to be accepted for who you are - you know, that's what the vast majority of people throughout the world crave - to be accepted as they are. Some don't realize that's what they're longing for, and spend years - maybe a lifetime - chasing other goals, that never bring them true happiness. You've got wisdom.

You said there are other factors influencing the way you've been thinking. I hope you can talk about things to someone/someones who want to help. We all need a bit of support every now and then.

You said that the people on here seem like a nice bunch. Well they are. Oh, in any place, there might be one person who doesn't understand, but I've 'met' so many people on this Forum who are great. They are caring and do you know the best thing is, they are just ordinary people like you and me - and because they've had their ups and downs, they know what they're on about.

There are people on this Forum who have helped me a great deal. So what if they're not Irish (no-one's perfect ) - so what if I might never meet them 'in real life'. I trust them, and feel I can be myself with them.

Brian - reading your post, it's kinda obvious that you're a fantastic guy - don't let the bad guys win.

Maybe you've been under a lot of pressure, trying to care for others, trying to appear strong. Look after yourself. There are people who care about you. Sometimes it's hardest to talk to those closest to us, but there are people who can help.

I want to thank you for posting what you did, because sadly, many people feel a bit like that, at times, and it's good that someone has the courage to be honest, and get us thinking - and talking.

Only in the past week, we've heard here in Ireland about someone who was driven to drastic things, but who apparently 'never showed any signs of distress'. No-one seemed to know about the hell she must have been going through. If only she could have reached out to someone.

Lots of people are living with sadness and intolerable pressure, but there are so many people who want to help, and who care. The people who are suffering most at the present time will probably turn out to be those who will most help others in the future.

Hope things get better real soon

D.

Hi guys, just thought I'd let you know I was ok. I didn't expect any responses but I thought this was the best place without getting the 'grow up, suicide is for cowards' responses that I've read on many a forum when the issue of suicide is mentioned. However, I was well and truly overwhelmed by the response and the level of support that I recieved. I'd like to thank all those who PM'ed me; Cameron, HC, Rincewind, gg, and last but not least Molly who's message was very touching and gave me great courage during this ordeal. I'd also like to extend my appreciation to the people who posted on here. Liisi, Westy, cc, foinavon, blags, Casey-Jo, Mari_A, Funky_Fi, qwertynels, milly,Jezi and trolleydolley (if I left anyone out, I'm sorry, you know who you are). What you did may seem little but quite often in life the little things make all the difference. You took the time to lend you support to someone in need and don't think it's not appreciated because it is and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. It restored my faith in the goodness of mankind again and for that you all deserve a pat on the back and please don't be modest or embarrassed you deserve it everyone of you. So once again, thank you for your overwhelming support I'll never forget it. See you around.

p.s. It's a pity my two longest posts on BBFans weren't in more happier circumstances.

Sorry I havent said anything Brian up to now but I echo what other people have said, some good advice been given and just stay strong. Glad your feeling better though and sorry if this sucks but im not very good at giving advice*sends hugs anyway*

I'm so glad you're feeling better Brian

Always remember Brian the bad times pass just like the good times do. If you feel you are not strong enough to tackle the over powering feeling to commit suicide seek the proper help and don't feel embarrassed to post here againe if you feel down. You are loved, never forget that

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better now Brian!

glad to hear you are feeling better Brian and kepp strong

Yeah excellent news you're feeling better mate

Hey Brian, if it's any consolation most of us at some point have really low moments, I know I've had my fair share. It does get better is all I can say. You seem like a nice chap (even if you are a Man U fan ) and well-liked on here if not elsewhere.

If there's one thing I've learnt it's not to take much notice of your detractors - they're the ones with the problems, not you.

Hi Brian - I've just seen this thread, and I'm very glad that you've started to feel a bit better about things.

That's something to hold on to. That you CAN feel better about things in time. And as far as what other people say to you or think of you - in a few years it won't matter so much. If only people could get a grip on themselves, and realise the harm they can do to others...

Anyway - on the subject of suicide as an option. A close friend of mine is in such misery at the minute, because her oldest son took that way out - despite lots of love and support from the family and friends. Anyone who has witnessed the misery it causes to their loved ones would have to think more than twice about taking it as a way out - because although the misery may be over for the person who takes their life - it's only the start of life-long heartache for those left behind.

So try to hold on to the thought that things ALWAYS do get better and sort themselves out in the end. I'm 44 now, and have had my fair share of dark times, and I can vouch for this.

You're a great guy - if not everyone gets that it's THEIR problem ultimately - not yours.

Well said Vagabond. We lost my brother and cousin that way and it's not something that the family can recover from. Having said that if what happened to Rory and Martin can prevent it from happening again then that's a major comfort. I'm glad you're feeling better Brian and as Vagabond said, if they don't get that you're a good guy then that's their problem not yours. You can't control them but you can control how you react to them.

Glad you're feeling better now Brian

Thank you. Blags little mishap last night cheered me up even more.

Poor Blags! it was funny tho!