BB FANS

The previous few posts have warmed the cockles of my heart.

(And I do believe that there are far more 'goodies' than 'baddies' around...)

I'd hate to spoil things by pointing out that Morrissey's friend is just a tad younger than either HC or Westy. Just a tad....

I don't know how long your friend has been in contact with this person, Morrissey - I suppose if things have developed really quickly between her and the guy, it would make me feel a bit more nervous about the situation.

I tend to agree with Mrs Minx - in that giving your friend your contact details and keeping your distance sounds helpful.

It's impossible for outsiders to judge this situation - but again, one would think that if the guy agreed to meeting your friend at a 'neutral' location, it would be a good sign - but then, she might not have asked for that.

Every situation is different, of course.

Poor Morrissey - I feel for you. Offering your support - and preferably non-judgemental support - is probably the most important thing.

It's so hard when someone is determined to do something, and won't listen. All you can do is try and convince your friend to meet this guy in a public place, I guess (and the phone option is an excellent idea).

I wonder what this bloke has been saying.....he could be dodgy, he could be nice, and that's the hard part, the unknown quantity.

I also tend to think that if this guy is OK and he loves your friend, then he should be happy to meet her anywhere.

I find it as a red alert situation , if a (totally strange older) male asks a (younger) female to meet him at his area. No way!

awww Westy can't help being old I do have to say though I wonder at the motive of a 35 year old man meeting an 18 year old apart from the fairly obvious one Each situation has to be judged accordingly but I think in this particular instance she would be extremely wise to have someone nearby and some kind of get out clause. I made sure I met Ellie in a public place cos she's a complete nutter

I will stress what everyone else has already said Morrissey, this does not sound right at all and she should defintely not meet him alone. If he loves and cares about her like he claims then he will know this will send alarm bells with the people that care about her and as a 35 year old adult he should know better than to have an 18 year old girl travelling to his hometown alone even if his intentions are good. One thing we can be grateful of is at least she has told you before, so you can possibly try and do something about it.

Having thought about this 'Meeting' I don't like it

It may be quite legitimate but it just doesn't ring true. If the young lady can be reasoned with.........and I say if...... someone should go with her, just as a safety measure.

One big question is 'Why is the meeting taking place in HIS town' ???



Not Happy

its shame people are so distrusting nowadays

i've had a young female forum member from this site come and stay in my house overnight despite never having met me before. and she managed to escape the next morning unmolested

That was my point. I've been trying to reason with her today as her father who wasn't fully aware of a few things such as his age and how well she knows him.

Hopefully (fingers crossed), she might decide against it.

Thanks for all the advice peeps, very good of you and hopefully it will work one way or another.

I think the important thing to remember is the girl is 18 and not 14.

Thats old enough to vote, old enough to live away from home, be married and do all sorts of other things. She doesnt even have to tell you that shes going. Shes only sharing with you because shes excited.

She may be gullible, but that doesnt mean that the bloke in question is a murderer or a bad person. He might be a bit insecure, or emotionally 22, or just not give consideration to the issue of age gap relationships.

There may be one or two things about the scenario that concern you, but at the end of the day the girl is of legal majority and has a right to go where she wants and see who she wants.

As long as you do everything you can to ensure she knows that she can turn to you if things go wrong and that you are happy to be a contact person for her while she goes on this trip, theres nothing more you can do.

The thing about the internet is that it promotes a kind of false intimacy. She may well be swayed by his words now, but whos to say when she gets there she will feel the same about him as she does now? Hes going to be a stranger that shes shared some form of intimacy with and that can be a bit difficult to reconcile in the cold light of day.

Many people have big age gaps in their relationships. Its certainly not unheard of for an 18 year old to date someone in their 30s. It may be that they have agreed to meet in his town because he has his own place or something, but I would check with her that she will be meeting him initially somewhere publically in daylight so that she can leave if she feels uncomfortable at any point.

The way people stop being gullible and naive is by learning by their mistakes. If shes not allowed to make any, how will she ever learn?

Give her a back-up plan and let her get on with it. You never know, they might actually quite like each other and get on well in real life.

I agree with you Mrs M...

This guy might be genuine, the meeting might go very well. And I guess the age thing is up to the individuals.. it might not matter to them at all.

As long as she keeps safe then I think she should go and meet him. You never know, she might spend ten minutes with him and think 'Never in a million years!'

Ah I knew that was why Katie rang you after the first 15 minutes.


But seriously Morrissey, you are right to be concerned. Your friend is only 18 and if she really thinks that he is the one (and he might be) then why would she object to meeting him somewhere public and setting up a few safeguards first. She might think you are just interfering by keeping on at her about this, but ultimately I'm sure she will realise that you have her best interests at heart.

I believe an agreement has been set up. They're meeting in Wolverhampton in a shopping centre and spending the day shopping. She's going to be there for less time than originally planned as well.

Much better

Well done Morrissey. I hope things work out well.

As i've already said Morrissey, very glad to hear that.

I like to think that on the Internet the majority of people are trust worthy enough, I mean you can meet nutters absolutely anywhere and obviously there are some online but it's because of the 'reputation' that the Internet has that it is expected that everybody is going to be some sort of lunatic. It's a shame that you only really get to hear the 'bad' stories like in so many walks of life.

But of course, like with everything it is always so much better to be careful so I am glad that a plan you are all comfortable with has been come up with Morrissey

I would advise if anyone was going to meet someone off the internet that they meet in daylight in a very public place, I know not all people are werid and I have met some lovely people of this forum in real life and have a really good friendship with them, but like what has be said earlier on, anyone can pretend to be anyone, so people should be extremely careful and wise to the situation.

Lets us know what happens in the end won't you Morrissey?