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I would never spend St Patricks night getting pissed with a load of Irish people. (if only)

I would never sit at home SOBER on St Patricks night

I would never be sober for about the 25th night in a row.

I would never perform Irish dancing to an audience of children and builders

oh I did yesterday!

I would never be videoed Irish dancing with my sisters.

I would never make an idiot of myself at work

I would never work

I would never spend three and a half hours cleaning a bathroom on St Patrick's night - because, of course, I would never let any room in my house get into that state in the first place.

I would never post here at a ridiculous hour cos I'm too hyper to sleep.... honestly

I would never tell me not to hold back when asking why something's annoyed me then follow it with 'you can tell me anything, I'm happy to listen'

I would never deny to myself that I was gay (if I was)

I would never have bought mum the book I bought her for mothers day if I had thought about the title properly. Just read the back and thought she may like it... then the title hit me while she was unwrapping it, I dissolved into fits of giggles and she probably thought I was trying to be offensive when it really wasn't the case. Oops

I would never not wonder what the title is now?

I would never either.