blagman wrote:
I`m still at a loss why we needed to import this chap from Canada.
It's all about the selection process box-ticking:
"get a mad psycho", check.
"get a vapid model - male", check.
"get a vapid model - female", check.
"bald and brawny", check.
"get an ethnic", check.
"get another ethnic", check.
"get yet another ethnic, preferably Welsh", check.
"get a porn star, note: not a wannabe this time, but a has-been", check.
"get a minor disability", check.
" get a drippy toff", check. (got a great deal on a "select one toff, get another free!")
Here's an insider scoop on "the short of follicles, big on muscles" choices:
Ross Kemp was pencilled in, but the Eastenders call came and he went crawling back, tail between his legs.
Right Said Fred are solidly booked at Butlins Skegness until October.
'Stone Cold' Steve Austin is still at home sharpening knives and staring at Dwayne's latest movie poster, muttering jealous obscenities and threats of vengeance.
Brian Eno* is on some faraway beach.
Locke can't get off a different island.
And the bouncer from 'The Jerry Springer Show' is now an ordained minister in the Baptist Church.
Alas this left only Richard for their "get a bald, brawny one".
The researcher who approached Eno, misread their notes as "get a bald, brainy one".