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OOoo, I was kind of hoping some of me old mates on this forum would be around to give me some advice-although any kind of advice/support would be most welcomed.

My situation is this: this afternoon, I've got a meeting with a member of Human Resources and another manager to discuss an alleged bullying and harassment complaint from my team member. I was totally horrified when this was raised against me-I've never ONCE fallen out with anyone at work and I would never bully someone. The problem is, I'm the girl's manager. I've had to pull her up for quite a few serious misdemeanours i.e. not phoning in abscence, losing confidential notes, not managing time appropriately and one very, very serious issue which I can't go into on this forum. The thing is, all I want to know is has anyone else had to go through this at work? Where do you draw the line between managing someone and them alleging you are bullying them? Sorry, but I think the laws at work have gotten out of hand. I can't believe this is happening to me!! And I'm feeling sick as a parrot with nerves. I've only got 2 hours to go until the interview and it's expected to last 2 hours itself. Please, I need a sympathetic ear here!!

Another member of a managing team here. I can tell you from experience, that as a manager you will face these kinds of charges at some point. People are always looking after their own interests where work is considered, and managers are always the first ones to get blamed when things don't go the way they want them to. Some of the charges made against you may have some truth to them since nobody's perfect, but in your case it sounds like you have nothing to worry about. Do you think this girl has told your supervisors about those misdemeanors? I bet not. Take with you all of the evidence you can gather about those incidents and most importantly; be honest. Since you have nothing to hide and you've only been doing your job, you don't have to be that worried. Just go in and tell people your perspective on things, and I'm sure everything will be fine. Talking is the key in these kinds of situations. Good luck!

Thank you so much Liisi!! I swear, I can hardly type at the moment through nerves. I came on this forum just to try to detract my brain from this afternoon but you can see it isn't working!!

I agree with you, there probably is a bit of truth in some things she might be alleging although I don't actually know the full content of the allegations until I get to the meeting. I believe no one is perfect and we can all make mistakes and if I've done something wrong, I'd be the first person to rectify it. You are also right in saying that this staff member did not go to our line manager about any of this. Im meeting my union rep at lunch time but I've not got a lot of faith in him. He's now lost my documentation that I kept on the situation and he keeps getting my name wrong and situations wrong!! Methinks I'll be reevaluating my choice of union when my membership is up for renewal!! I pay £15 a month only to be served by a monkey!!

I don't know Liisi, but I'm not that old but I can remember the days when if your boss told you to do something, you did it. Not that I'm saying that's a good thing as no one wants to work with a dictator but someone has to run the show and someone has to carry the can if anything goes wrong i.e. me. I've worked all around the country and abroad and I've never encountered such behaviour. I'm now working in a parochial little town whereby there is quite a bad attitude by a core group of staff who seem hell bent on causing mayhem.

Yeah, I know that kind of people. There's some in every workplace. These are people that are unhappy with their lives and seem to want to spread it around at any cause. You just have to be firm with them, and at some point they either give up or leave. Don't give them what they want, you hold the power here. Say everything you've said here! Don't rely on the union rep, it might be good that he's there just to make the point that you're serious and as a "wittness", but you have to deal with it. I know you're nervous, it's never nice to have allegations made towards you. No matter if they're right or wrong. Your attitude in this meeting is what counts.

RR,
What a bloody situation to be in and , Yes, the employment laws here have gone utterly stupid.

All I can say is, Tell it as it is, LOCK STOCK AND NASTY BITS, and don't loose your cool . That is one of the tactics used on some of the panels and if they get you rattled you will not win the argument.

Just for the record I have been in your place regarding a DRUNK and it seemed at the time that I was the guilty party. However I won in the end but it left a bad taste in my mouth and I made sure that I never tried to cover up for anyone again

Speak to you later

Jim XX

Thanks again Liisi!! I'm going off to have a coffee and try to relax. This sounds awful but I've been off sick this week from work due to the stress of this, my dad's unwell and I've recently bought a house which is not even at the habitable stage as there is so much work needing done. Hopefully just getting today done and dusted with will help matters for me a little.

Cheers once again for your kind words of support!!

Thanks too Jim!!! I wished people would seriously think what they are doing before they start throwing allegations around. This has caused utter mayhem at work and it's all over 1 person. Grrrrrr!!!

Truth will always win out in the end Ruby. Good luck with it and try not to get too stressed... oh and Jim is right when he says keep your cool, don't let them rattle you.

Where's your house? You still about an hour south from me? I'm down that way all the time cos my current other half lives near Newtyle.

But I digress, good luck this afternoon.

Scotslass-hello!!!! What I shall do is send you a PM as I've moved away from my original city and I'm worried if I put the place where I now live on this forum, someone (you never know who lurks these forums) might put 2 and 2 together!!! Now that's what you call paranoid!!!

Nowt wrong with a bit of internet paranoia Ruby!!! I'll wait for your pm.whilst sharpening my axe

Sorry RR, I'm rubbish with advice but just wanted to say all the best. Try not to be nervous, you're in the right. xx

Thanks to you all! I've got to go now. Meeting union rep in half an hour. Will PM you Scotslass to give you my new place of abode. Will also give you guys an update of what happened. Thanks for the support once again. RR xx

Hope it went well Rubes...I'm sorry I wasn't here in your time of need but I wouldn't have been any help anyway! I was a manager once from the age of 18-21....I couldn't even manage my own hairstyle and got bullied by my staff!!

Hope it well RR. Having to stand up for yourself when someone has made false remarks about you is quite simply horrible whatever walk of life you are in.

Sometimes it's worse when they are true!!