Thank you and goodnight
Doherty's Latest Comeback
PETE DOHERTY: Live!
It’s another day in the life of the hardest working man in pop.
No sooner has the hammer fallen and the judgements pronounced on one of Doherty’s shows than he’s back before an audience of his peers.
“Hello, Thames Magistrates’ Court,” says the singer. Doherty’s back at the scene of his greatest triumphs.
“Today I appear before you on a charge of being in possession of crack cocaine [Yeah!], heroin [Like it is!] and cannabis [Play it, baby, play it!].”
Not for Doherty anything new and confusing. He knows what they have come to see and hear. And like an old stager he just keeps the hits coming.
The crowd goes wild. As does Peter. The Star says “PETE GOES BANANAS”, and spots the singer holding one of the curved yellow fruits.
Doherty and fruit? What madness is this? Next the papers will be telling us that he’s checked into London’s Malmaison hotel and smashed his room up.
Indeed, a source at a hotel of just that name tells us: “The man is an animal [see banana] – he left the room looking worse than a war zone.”
The spokesman goes on: “There’s evidence that he took drugs, the carpet’s wrecked, there are smashed up bottles everywhere and the place is covered in blood.”
It’s less a hotel room than it is a Pete Doherty installation. The man is an artist.
But what do the critics say? Ooer! They’ve fined Doherty £770 and banned him from driving for three months.
But not to worry. He might get another chance to impress should the hoteliers press charges. See you soon, Pete. See you in court...
anorak
