Call me crazy ...
... but doesn't Katie Hopkins deserve to be Sir Alan's Apprentice?
During Sunday's BBC2 Apprentice spin-off, Beyond the Boardroom, in which we gleaned more about the home lives of the remaining candidates, I suddenly had a eureka moment about the vile, arguably sociopathic, Katie.
It came just after the blonde single mother of two quipped about doing the New York marathon pregnant to "see if the baby was meant to be" and before her comments about fatties "waddling to the boardroom". In fact, it came just as I heard how at a recent party she "beat all the men at a press-ups competition".
Give her the job, I thought. She deserves it. We all know what a poisoned chalice it is. Give Katie it! Make her sign up for at least five years. In blood.
Right now, Katie earns £90K as a globe-trotting brand manager. Her day begins with a bracing run along the Devon coastline. Her office nestles in a mansion set in its own grounds. At work, her snooty word appears to be law. Send her off to Amstrad, I say!
It's not exactly Trump Towers. It's an office in the bowels of the Brentwood HQ, working for a shoutier version of Teddy Ruxpin. Tim Campbell stayed two years. Michelle Dewberry? Around 10 minutes - before she realised she'd rather be on Celebrity Scissorhands fondling Steve Strange's dandruff.
And what a lovely working atmosphere, too! Sir Alan's running gag is she's a "loser". His two honchos can't stand her. I bet Amstrad is full of fatties, northerners, orange women, folk who buy tat off QVC, and all the other people she's insulted, simply dying for Katie to take the reins.
While Katie's tied up there, she'll have no time for lucrative columns, endorsements, or even lion-taming in a spandex unitard on Cirque du Célébrité. In fact, we'll probably never see her again. Godspeed Katie! Here's one grubby little northerner who hopes her prayers are truly answered.
guardian
