Kate McCann's most emotional interview so far...
In the 155 days since Madeleine McCann vanished, her parents Kate and Gerry have suffered depths of anguish and despair that are almost beyond words.
They have endured the slurs of Portuguese newspapers and the whisperings of police officers who hid behind anonymity to accuse them of unspeakable acts.
Their faintest hopes were raised by sightings of Madeleine, only to be cruelly dashed. And there was the nightmare of being first interrogated over their daughter's disappearance, then named as official suspects.
But as Kate and Gerry yesterday spoke fully for the first time since returning to the UK, they said none of those torments compared with the agony of discovering their four-year-old was gone.
Kate, 39, said: "Obviously, nothing can compare with the night Madeleine went missing. A lot has happened since then. Sometimes the most trivial of things can bring you crashing down.
"I don't think there has been one particular low moment. Time has passed by so surreally. It was the first few hours, then eight hours, then 24 hours, 48 hours, then 72 hours . . . I don't remember. Each day felt like a week."
Gerry said: "I think when we were made suspects in our own daughter's disappearance - when the inference was that Madeleine was dead and that somehow we were involved.
"But no, it can't get worse than that first night." Kate said: "Nothing has been worse than that."
And Gerry added: "Everything that happened, everything we do and feel, it is all put into perspective by how we felt on that first night."
The couple said that since returning to Rothley, Leics, four weeks ago from the Portuguese resort of Praia da Luz, they have been overwhelmed by the support of friends - and the kindness of strangers.
Gerry, 39, said: "A few nights ago we had a curry with friends. And the waiters in the restaurant, the staff - they were so good.
"I went to the dump to throw some things away. People came up and said 'I hope everything works out all right for you. These were ordinary people. People I didn't know, people going about their business - taking time to pass on their best wishes."
Kate added: "We can be out in the car and people will put their thumbs up. It's a simple thing but we take great comfort from it. The messages of support, friends and family rallying round . . . you just can't overestimate what those have meant for us. They have kept us going on low days, kept us strong during the worst times."
Kate, a locum GP, and Gerry, a heart specialist, said there was little likelihood of an immediate return to work.
Gerry said: "I did think about going back to work in some capacity, but that all changed when we were declared arguidos. That has put things back a bit.
"We are looking at the most effective thing we can do in our search for Madeleine. The legal side has taken priority. We want to change that and refocus attention on finding her."
The couple gave an interview as they visited the offices of their local newspaper the Leicester Mercury to say thank you for a fund-raising campaign. The paper has raised £57,000 by selling yellow-and-green Madeleine wristbands.
The couple said they could not comment on the sacking of Gonzalo Amaral, the Portuguese officer who was formerly in day-to-day charge of the Madeleine inquiry.
As they were speaking it was revealed a second senior detective is about to quit the case. Chief Inspector Tavares Almeida, the man who interrogated Kate and second in command in the investigation, is said to have asked for extended leave. It will throw the inquiry into even deeper chaos as new officers are appointed and briefed. Amaral was axed for saying British police were "pandering" to the McCanns.
But if Kate couldn't talk about the inquiry yesterday, she happily chatted about two-year-old twins Sean and Amelie.
She said: "It didn't take them long to settle back. They miss their big sister. We tell them that she is missing and that everyone is looking for her - and that's the truth.
"There is a semblance of normality returning. It's more normal than it was three weeks ago, Amelie and Sean see to that. But really how can it be normal without Madeleine?" Gerry added: "None of this has been normal has it, really?"
Mirror
