BB FANS

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"
CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY.........

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."

(apologies to all you blondes out there, but they say blondes have more fun! )

lol.

i loved them.

thanks for sharing

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.

She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid so, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.



While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.



Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing, and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house.



He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said . . .





You'll love this. Yep. I know you will.











"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS

JACK'S TELEPHONE NUMBER...

Blonde Caller: "I need to talk with Jack. Can you give me his telephone
number?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, who you are talking about."

Blond Caller: "On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states
that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
telephone Jack before cleaning. "So what's his number?

Blonde Journal

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too
tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print
labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in
printer!!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6
months.....
box said '2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went
out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid ..... wrong
instructions....8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing ....... couldn't find a
lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition .....
learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their
arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
car swamped because my soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'..... isn't it???

October
Hate M&M's ..... they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .... instructions said
1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911 . 'duh'..... there's no 'eleven' Button on the stupid phone!!!


THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - 2007


A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his
attractive blond female neighbor came out of the
house
and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it
then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to
the mailbox and again, opened it, slammed it shut again.

Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn,
here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it
and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled
by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'

To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'




( Are you ready? This is a beauty...)




My stupid computer keeps saying, ' YOU'VE GOT
MAIL! '

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . .. .


(scroll down)








'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'

Superb Madeline!