BB FANS

DOPEY Darnell’s appointed May to a wine-tasting challenge – even though she doesn’t drink.

The house head boy had been divvying up roles for the French budget contest.

One of the tasks will see two housemates picking out plonk from its taste and aroma alone – and Darnell paired up house hunk Dale with teetotaller May.

Other heavenly housemates are being examined on their knowledge of Gallic food and culture.

Kat and Rex – Darnell’s cuisine experts – will have to eat a 5ft brie and grape baguette in just twenty minutes.

Rachel and Mo, meanwhile, will have to master the art of mime.

Hell housemates face a more physical test.

They’ll take part in a cycling challenge, pedalling 1040kms on two bikes.

That’s the distance from Paris to Madrid – and they only have 30 hours to complete their ride.

The whole gang are allowed two fails across the challenge.

The SUN

What? He could have let Mo do it on his own, he'd have only needed 10 mins.

Vive La France!

Day 41

Sacre bleu! Big Brother is saying 'bonjour' to all things French this week...

Head of House Darnell was summoned to the Diary Room where he was given a laminate to read to the other housemates in the Living Area.

"We can do this. All of us are going to France...Housemates must become au fait with all things French," announced Darnell.

The housemates cheered.

The Heavenly Housemates will enjoy such Gallic delights as wine tasting, French cuisine and their ability to perform mime.

The Hellish Housemates, however, must cycle on two bikes for a total of 520 miles each within 30 hours as they take part in Le Tour De Grand Frère.

"Housemates from Hell must cycle a total of 1040 kilometres," said Darnell.

"Oh my God," said Rex upon hearing this.

"One hundred miles each," said Lisa.

"Due to Luke's illness he will not take place in this Task until further notice," said Darnell.

Ironicially bee-bop loving Belinda had earlier admitted that she was worried about a France-themed Task as she couldn't speak French. Had she been a Heavenly Housemate she still wouldn't have needed to speaka-da-lingo.

If the housemates pass three or more Tasks they will all receive a luxury shopping budget.

If they fail more than two Tasks they will be restricted to a basic budget.

Ooh la la!
Ch4

finchy over Mo but thats a good point actually

The Coventry lass has also be moaning about the task in epic (almost Nikki Grahame) style, at one point lying on the floor and screaming, "I don't want to do it anymore, I don't want to play. I want to kill myself. I want to jump in the pool and drown." Bit dramatic, dear. In other task news, it doesn't seem likely that Mohamed and Dale are going to pass the wine-tasting part. Dale admits he can only tell the difference between six of the 15 wines, while Mohamed simply downs them all and gets drunk. Belinda, Sara and Bex are all struggling with the bike, while Mikey is making very little effort, except to hang around and make inappropriate comments to Sara about her panting and grunting as she pedals uphill *shudders* Lisa and Stu, on the other hand, are like the bionic couple, so the housemates may well still be in with a chance of passing yet. Although, saying that, the last time we checked the live feed Bex was crawling across the floor and moaning... Oh dear. Do you think the housemates are going to pass the task?
heatworld

Happy Talk

Day 42

Bex and Luke take a break...

Rebecca and Luke were taking a break from the cycling Task by doing what they do best. Lying back in the Basic Bedroom and bitching about the others.

"Kathreya's got a new tactic," said Luke, "it's 'be nice, be cool, listen to Rex talk about his bleeding restaurant'."

Bit harsh that Luke. Everyone has to listen to Rex talk about his restaurants at one point or another. In fact, it only ever truly stops when a housemate has been evicted.

Speaking of which, it's fair to say that Luke knows who he wants to go on Friday.

"Kathreya's latched on to him," said Luke, "imagine if Belinda beats Rex on Friday."

"That'd be good," said Rebecca, not exactly sitting on the fence.

Luke and Rebecca then discussed their popularity outside the House.

"I can't imagine anyone talking about you and me," said Luke. "Or me. Or you. Actually, I can imagine them talking about you. I can imagine them talking about Dale. He's well fit... and so is Stuart. Kathreya plays to that audience."

Handbags, Luke, handbags.
Ch4

Life Cycle

Day 42

The Tour De Grand Frere carries on and on...

Rebecca took over from Sara during the Hellish Housemates cycling Task.

Sara had given it everything she possibly could and was finding it hard to go on.

Luke and Mikey were also in the Task Room, providing Rebecca with all the moral support they could muster.

"You've done one minute Bex," said Luke.

Mikey was shattered from his stint on the bike earlier this morning, Luke meanwhile was still recovering from an illness and was there giving moral support

"You've got another eight minutes Bex," said Luke.

"I can't," said Rebecca.

Rebecca, Lisa and Stuart have put in an outstanding contribution to the Tour De Grand Frere Task, but were starting to wane through-out the night. The Hellish Housemates must work out on a cycling simulator, travelling the virtual equivalent of Paris to Madrid

"You're building up speed now Bex," said Luke, "listen to the bike."

"Five minutes to go," said Luke, "five effing minutes."

"That would be a travesty," said Mikey, "to swear on your birthday."

"I want my cake double the size of Mohamed's," said Luke, "he was only twenty four but I'm twenty one today."

That's right. Celebrations are in order today. Luke has now reached the twenty first year of his life cycle.

See what we did there?
Ch4

Cycle, Michael!

The housemates tell Michael to 'get on yer bike'...

Mikey completed Le Tour De Grand Frère this evening, much to the delight and whooping of his fellow housemates - including a typically euphoric Rachel.

"Come on, Mikey!" she called, as the radio producer cycled wearily on. "Last bit now Mikey! Whoo! Keep going Mikey."

"C'mon, c'mon," Luke spurred.

But Maysoon was more into musing than enthusing: "It was easier that they had one bike," she noted. "If they had two bikes, they wouldn't have done it as they wouldn't have been able to rest."

"Yes," Kat nodded. "I know what you mean."

The whoops and cheers got louder as Mikey neared the end, and the final countdown began. "7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - whoo!" the housemates roared. They hugged the exhausted Mikey, and patted him on the back.

"That was amazing!" Rachel breathed.

"Arrrgh!" Michael replied.

Michael exited into the Garden as the housemates from Heaven patted him on the back he did a sort of lap of honour.

Phew! Bet they're glad that's over.

Channel 4

Crap Monsieur

Day 42

The housemates say 'bon riddance' to France...

Both Heaven and Hell gathered gloomily on the sofas tonight to be told the result of the Vive La France Task - but many of them were philosophical about it.

"If we've failed, we've failed," Rebecca shrugged. "There's nothing we can do."

"How the hell has Hell failed?" Luke snapped. "They'd better explain why, if we have!"

Big Brother then boomed into the House to announce that the housemates passed the Art Of Mime and Le Tour De Grand Frère Tasks, but failed to finish the five-foot baguette or identify a single wine. Because of this, they'd failed the Vive La France Task, and would be living on a basic budget for the next week.

"Well done guys," Rex sighed ruefully, as a few housemates clapped half-heartedly.

"Darnell, you'll have to sit down with Lisa and work out how to stretch the basic budget," Luke quipped.

"By the way, the baguette's still outside," Rex reminded them.

"**** it!" Mohamed decided. "Are we allowed to eat it?"

"'Course you're not allowed to!" Rex scoffed. "But if you do, you have to finish the whole thing in ten minutes."

Given Mo's normal appetite, that shouldn't be a problem.
Ch4