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WHO would have thought that Thami could cluck like a hen? Who would have thunk that Mimi would defend Uti? Who would have thought that Big-E would once again have a reality show identity crisis? And who would have believed that Lucille would still be at the centre of the main action that went down in the Big Brother house this week? S'all true.

I kid you not.

Just a quick look-in today people.

Time's run out and I've had to fend off TK fans, who think I'm evil; the jersey brigade are in a woolly knit because they think I'm fighting unfairly when it comes to TK, their beloved 'gangster'.

They think I'm need­ling him unnecessarily, and are poised for attack with their knitting needles! Let me say it once, let me say it twice, TK ain't no gangster.

He can't take the rap.

Peace, TK fans.

It's only a game! And this is only a column.

EXTREME MAKEOVER So yeah, inbetween throwing balls of wool back at the advancing knitting needle brigade, did manage to watch a bit of the show.

Housemates have been involved in The Big's version of 'Extreme Makeover'.

I mean, Biggie, I could have lived with the house, but I really think you should be giving some housemates a makeover - they're already part of the furniture: bed life (TK and Sheila), couch life (Thami and Morris), park life (Tawana and Hazel).

Anyway, the house was stripped down and they've had to paint and do up all the rooms.

Inbetween, Big-E packed them all off to the 'Penthouse', where they were given a taste of boarding school, sleeping in rows on the floor, dorm-like.

'High School Musical'.

Right, Biggie? Once back in the house the next day, he split the inmates into two groups for the makeover job, BUT ...

the members of each team had to stay joined to each other by a belt, chain-gang style; they were only allowed to take if off during shower hour and when they got dressed.

If one person in a team got up during the night to go to the toilet, the whole belted lot of them had to go! Classic.

'Prisonbreak'.

Right, Biggie? So do I get to be Head of House now?! And no one helped me with the answers.

S'true.

BARNYARD BRAWL Eish! On Wednesday night, the wine flowed and so did Thami.

In fact, Thami spilled over.

When I checked in, Thami was flapping his arms like a chicken, clucking like a hen on steroids and crowing like a **** as he tried to egg on Uti.

Thami, Thami.

Mananzi dude was yelling "Uti, you chickenshack".

Well actually not "chickenshack"; he put more T into the K, and more I into the A, if you get me ...

He accused the volatile Nigerian of "not being a man" because he didn't tell Lucille he was feeling her while she was in the house.

"What kind of man are you," he yelled.

Yes yelled, as he ran through the house pursuing Uti, shouting "LUCILLLLEeeee, LUCILLLEeeee, LUCILLE" at the top of his voice.

But no, Thami crowed at Uti, you had to wait until she left and then kick and break things.

At one stage Uti offloaded with one of the best oneliners in the house yet: "At least I didn't frighten her with my teeth," he told Thami.

But Thami was way too gone to absorb information; he repeated himself, and repeated himself ...

and repeated himself.

He just couldn't and wouldn't let it go.

Chicken Licken, raw and uncooked.

Got to hand it to Uti - who's admitted he has anger management control issues - he eventually went off to the bedroom, counted to 10 and decided to let Thami wear himself out.

Then Mimi, who is usually at loggerheads with Uti, rose to his defence - and can Mimi rise! Mimi said that Uti had not tried to pressure Lucille, who was already having to deal with a pressure "from a lot of the other guys"! You go girl.

Who should go on Sunday: Uti, Munya or Ricco? Again peeps, tough choice.

Not going to try and sway you.

Don't think any of them should be going, but one has to ...