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HappyDaiz · **Joined:** 29 Jun 02, 16:52 **Posts:** 10718

An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on counter.

"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." She says.

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says "I'll take the red one."

The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: ?It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?

Girl: ?OK?

Medic: ?What's your name?

Girl: ? Tracy

Medic: ?Where are you bleeding from??

Tracy: ?Romford, mate.

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, ''Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!''.... ''It's not just one car!'' said the Essex girl, ''There's hundreds of them!''

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.

Medic: OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed.

Tracy: Ok

Medic: Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?

Tracy: Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.

She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it" So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me roight foot and the one with the L is for me left foot"

"Cor blimey'', exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them.''