BB FANS

>>>>>SKUSE THE >>>>>



> >Two peanuts walk into a bar
> >
> >One was a salted
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >A jump-lead walks into a bar.
> >
> >
> >The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't
> >start anything."
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >A sandwich walks into a bar.
> >
> >The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac
> >under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
> >
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >
> >Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
> >
> >
> >The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >Two cannibals are eating a clown.
> >
> >
> >One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doc.
> >
> >Doc says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
> >
> >
> >"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
> >
> >
> >"Is it common, Doc?"
> >
> >
> >"It's not unusual."
> >
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly
> >
> >"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
> >
> >"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
> >
> >
> >"It's true, straight up, no bull!"
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only
> >
> >cling film for shorts.
> >
> >The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says,
> >
> >
> >"I think I've lost an electron."
> >
> >The other says, "Are you sure?"
> >
> >
> >The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Answer phone message "...If you want to buy
> >
> >marijuana, press the hash key..."
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and tells him, "My dog's
> >cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
> >
> >
> >"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
> >
> >and picks up the dog to examine its eyes.
> >
> >He then checks its teeth. Finally, he says
> >
> >"I'm going to put him down."
> >
> >
> >"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
> >
> >
> >"No, because he's really heavy"
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >Two elephants walk off a cliff. Boom, boom!
> >
> >
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
> >
> >And there are 5 people
> >in my family, so it must be one of them.
> >
> >It's either my mum or my dad.
> >Or my older brother Colin.
> >
> >Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
> >
> >But I think it's Colin.
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >I went to buy some camoflage trousers the other
> >day but I couldn't find any.
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him
> >
> >50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
> >
> >He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'
> >
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
> >
> >He was pulled in by a strong currant.
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
> >
> >He shouted,"Doc, Doc, I can't feel my legs!"
> >
> >
> >The doctor replied,"I know you can't, I've cut
> >
> >off your arms".
> >
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >I went to a seafood disco last week... and
> >
> >
> >pulled a muscle.
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but
> >when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all
> >that you can't have your
> >kayak and heat it too.
> >
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor
> >of his van covered with
> >sprinkles.
> >
> >
> >Police say that he topped himself.