BB FANS

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a
little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud,
"Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and
answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang
onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you
asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little
hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English
can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is,
nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably
get me for $20,just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's
interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful.

The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
"sssssssssssst," and motions him over with a wing.
"I don't know if should tell you this or not, but it's about your
wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie
and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began
to kiss her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."

"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.



Luckily
the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because
it
was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a
healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in

tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother.

"I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out" replied the daughter.
The
mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.
"Mom,
I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out." Again the mother told
her
not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay" said the

Mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a tinkle and a bullet came
out."

"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog..."

arf arf