Emails that should never be sent...
The families are war before the wedding cake has been cut.
‘She has her head stuck so far up her own a*** she doesn't know whether to speak or f**t’: Father of bride-to-be brands email mother-in-law from hell ‘Miss Fancy-Pants’Carolyn Bourne told Heidi Withers she was 'an ideal candidate for Ladette to Lady television series'
She sends vitriolic email three times in a day and tells bride-to-be she needs 'guidance from experts'
Heidi's shocked father hits back and says he will never forgive Carolyn for abusing his daughter
It's going to be some wedding.The furious father of a bride-to-be who received an abusive email from her future 'mother-in-law from hell' criticising her manners has entered the war of words calling her 'snotty' and a 'Miss Fancy-Pants'.
Today Alan Withers said Carolyn Bourne 'has her head stuck so far up her own a*** she doesn't know whether to speak or f**t.'
Groom-to-be Freddy Bourne's 60-year-old step-mother has sparked outrage across the world after sending an outrageously rude e-mail to her future daughter-in-law Heidi Withers, 29.
Family-to-be at war: Alan Withers (left) has said that his family all call Carolyn Bourne (right) 'Miss Fancy-Pants' and say they do not like her 'snooty' attitude saying 'she thought she was better than us'
The vitriolic message, sent to her three times in one day six weeks ago, said Heidi had a ‘staggering uncouthness and lack of grace’ and branded her 'an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series'.
Stunned Heidi then forwarded the email to friends, but soon afterwards it became an internet sensation appearing on thousands of international websites and message boards.
Speaking from his home in Ledbury, Herefordshire, Alan Withers, 64, said he would never forgive Carolyn for her harsh words to his daughter.
Happier times: Heidi Withers and her fiancee Freddie Bourne are reeling after the venomous message sent by his step-mother Carolyn Bourne bemoaning Heidi's manners
'I was surprised when I read Carolyn's email to Heidi,' he said.
Confused: Heidi Withers (pictured) still wants to marry Freddie Bourne despite his step-mother's abuse towards her
'Heidi was very upset and the two of them obviously don't see eye to eye. I met Carolyn and her husband Edward for dinner at a pub in London last year.
'Edward was a jovial chap but Carolyn was quite snotty. She had a look about her which made us think she thought she was better than us.
'Ever since that meeting we call her "Miss Fancy-Pants".
'It's very sad what has happened but it's pointless us getting involved.
'I don't care if she apologises. You can't take back what has been said once it's said.
'Of course at the wedding we will shake hands and toast Heidi and Freddie.'
Carolyn Bourne, a renowned grower of pinks and dianthus flowers, told Miss Withers, 29, she should attend a finishing school in ‘utmost haste’ to get rid of her ‘bad manners’.
Her email was apparently intended to be a private rant but it went viral with thousands writing comments about the ‘mother-in-law from hell’.
Mrs Bourne sent the email after the young couple had spent a weekend at her £500,000 five-bedroom detached home on the picturesque outskirts of Dawlish, Devon.
Incensed by her future daughter-in-law’s behaviour, she wrote: ‘It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.’
Mrs Bourne, who is married to Freddie’s 63-year-old father Edward, even said Miss Withers’ behaviour had left their pet dog Bomber ‘profoundly upset, depressed and anxious’.
Etiquette guide: Renowned flower arranger Carolyn Bourne, gave her daughter-in-law to be a stern dressing down via e-mail. She is pictured here at a plant show in Coventry with her husband Edward
Mrs Bourne, who runs Whetman Pinks, a sprawling plant nursery based around 30 industrial greenhouses in the grounds of her home, went on to list several examples of Miss Withers’ apparent lack of manners.
She accused her of poor table manners, insulting the family in public and failing to send a hand-written card to say thank you after her stay.
And she rounded off the email with a withering attack on the nature of the couple’s relationship.
‘One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man,’ she concluded. ‘I pity Freddie.’
'Perfect candidate': Mrs Bourne compared her future daughter-in-law to the television programme Ladette to Lady
Mrs Bourne also criticised Miss Withers’ parents for failing to save enough money for their daughter’s wedding.
Miss Withers’ mother Sylvia, a nurse, and father Alan live with their two Yorkshire terriers in a five-bedroom £450,000 detached cottage set in half an acre in the village of Aylton, near Ledbury in Herefordshire.
A neighbour said: ‘They are such a lovely family and Heidi is a brilliant girl. They really are the salt of the earth.
‘I don’t know why the lad’s stepmother is getting involved.’
Enlarge
Mother-in-law from hell Carolyn Bourne, 60, sent the e-mail to Heidi Withers after she was less than impressed with her etiquette when she visited her Devon home in April
Last night 29-year-old Freddie, who runs online bicycle shop Capital Cycles and lives in Putney, South-West London, declined to comment.
Mrs Bourne also refused to answer any questions as she attended a Horticultural Trades Association plant show at Stoneleigh Park, Coventry.
Her husband Edward said: ‘We are aware of what is being said. I know it is very boring, very repetitive and very dull but we will not be making any comment and neither will my wife.’
Miss Withers and Mr Bourne are not the first to suffer acute embarrassment because of out-of-control email round robins.
A derogatory email exchange between Harry Fildes, 25, and Sebastian Marsh, 24, about Mr Marsh’s ex-girlfriend spread rapidly in March after Mr Fildes accidentally sent a copy to the girl in question.
Mr Marsh was later sacked by his company, Miller Insurance.
And Holly Leam-Taylor, a graduate trainee at consultants Deloitte, quit in December 2009 after sending an email discussing attractive male staff.
MRS BOURNE'S GUIDE TO GOOD MANNERSIt is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.
Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.
If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.
Please, for your own good, for Freddie’s sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else. You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.
No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
