Any bookworms out there? Just seen this online and made me chuckle…..
THE BOOKS BIG BROTHER SHOULD’VE ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE
Last year they were banned, but this year, Big Brother has allowed housemates to bring a book each into the house. Barry Crow, founder of ethical book website,
www.greenmetropolis.com has trawled his database and come up with some alternative suggestions for the books the housemates should’ve chosen.
Hiding under layers of blusher, labelled a ‘piggy’, and after sensing her lack of popularity,
Tania claimed that she really ‘did’ want to be evicted. There’s only one book that could possibly be associated with this ‘pop tart’, and that’s Faking It by Jennifer Cruise.
Much was said about
Jon’s inability to relate to the audience and people around him, so perhaps the ‘brain-box’ should’ve ditched the Complete Works of Shakespeare and picked up a copy of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ by John Gray instead.
Gos is a big man with little to say. Undoubtedly he should be engrossed by reading aspirational novel ‘The Man who Ate the 747’ by Ben Sherwood.
Fed could have benefited from a copy of ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie after expressing his dislike for North East women and subsequently being booed out of the house.
Quiet
Cameron failed to make an impact on home turf, but came out of his shell in South Africa. With women swooning for the sensitive Scot, perhaps Cam should be reading ‘Swahili for the Broken Hearted’ by Peter Moore.
Ray flies off the handle and causes a stir, and it could be said that his presence in the house has gone on too long. Fittingly, Barry recommends for him the epic ‘War and Peace’ by Leo Tolstoy.
If only bubbly Brummie
Steph was reading a book that reflected her glowing presence in the House – such as ‘White Teeth’ by Zadie Smith.
After watching
Nush flirt with visiting South African housemate ‘Gaetano’, perhaps a copy of ‘Sex, Lies and Videotape’ by Steven Soderberg would keep us all guessing as to what really happened with Gae on that pink carpet
Token large lass,
Justine is not a skinny TV stereotype, so a copy of ‘Does My Bum Look Big in This’ by Arabella Weir would have fitted better than most of her outfits. And Scoucer Sissy was soon identified as the cry-baby of the house – but what caused her to cry so much? Perhaps Kate Atkinson’s novel ‘Emotionally Weird’ could shed some light.
New housemate and proposed ‘ratings booster,’
Lisa is a self-confessed soap star wannabe. By taking in ‘99 Scenes for Actors’ by Angela Nicholas, she could have turned the programme into one long audition, quite literally.
As the first evictee after only seven-days in the house,
Anouska is off to Big Brother Australia to spice things up. A copy of ‘Secret Celebrity’ by Carol Wolpher would have been a clear indication that this was not the last we were going to see of this fame seeker.
As for
Scott, we’ve heard he’s a really nice guy but where’s the evidence? Seems like he’s already picked up a copy of the ‘The Blank State’ by Steven Pinker – let’s hope he can prove his critics wrong…
The books the housemates did take in with them
Anouska - A Child Called It by Dave Pelzer
Cameron - The Bible
Federico - The Justice Game by Geoffrey Robinson
Gos - Mandrake by Paul Eddy
Jon - The Complete Works by William Shakespeare
Justine - Cocktails for Three by Madeleine Wickham
Nush - Srimad Bhagavad Gita
Ray - Empire State by Colin Bateman
Scott - The Devil and Miss Prym by Paulo Coelho
Sissy - Encyclopaedia of Aromatherapy, Massage and Yoga by Carole MacGilvery, Jimi Reed and Mira Mehta
Steph - The Bible Code by Michael Drosnan
Tania - Not Without My Daughter by Betty Mahmoody with William Hoffer
Lisa – The Complete Dream Dictionary by Pamela Bell
